Just how many carats can you cram into one watch?

Union Diamond Rewind! Remember this post about the five million dollar watch? Of course you do, it’s hard to forget that much bling. But just in case your memory is a little fuzzy, or you just like pictures of all things diamond encrusted, let’s rewind a bit. *Cue the time travel music!*

 

 

Every day I search the internet for interesting jewelry stories, whether it be notable jewelry auctions, pieces with fantastic histories, and maybe just a little celebrity romance. But one of my favorite things to stumble upon is a story that I can add to my ever growing collection of “My God that’s ridiculous” blogs. Examples of which would include every entry from the diamonds just don’t belong here, as well as a few additions like the lost ring found on a carrot story. I think by now you can see where I’m going with this one. But brace yourselves, because this piece makes those diamond encrusted beats look positively demure… and that’s saying something.

 

Today’s main event is the simple watch. Most of you probably don’t even wear watches anymore, and even if you do I bet that nine times out of ten you whip out your phone to tell the time instead. Yes, it’s safe to say that wristwatches have become little more than fashion accessories. But the best part is that they’re totally rationalizable. “But I neeeeed it, I have to be able to tell time!” Right? Well trust me, nobody needs what’s coming next. This watch is so blinged out that I’m willing to bet you can’t even tell what time it is when the sun is out. It actually ought to come with sunglasses to prevent retinal damage because staring at the face of this thing on a sunny day would probably be like staring into the sun itself.

Photo: Hublot

Now, there are probably a few, alright all, of you out there who assume that I am being dramatic, and that may well be true. But how dramatic can I be when I tell you that this wristwatch is made of 18k white gold and contains no fewer than 1,200 diamonds? That’s right, over 100 carats of diamonds… on a watch. Oh, and let’s not forget the 45 carats of additional diamonds set into the watch band. The company who made the piece tell how, over a period of 14 months, each and every diamond was hand selected to fit the design parameters and then were painstakingly re-cut to fit perfectly and then set into the piece.

 

So how much does this burglar magnet cost? A mere $5 million. Yes, five million dollars for what is arguably one of the biggest wastes of diamonds ever. I admit that it is quite the feat of engineering and design, my hat is off to the creators. However, it embodies the phrase “trying to stuff 80 pounds of well, stuff, into a 10 pound bag. They spent so much time trying to cram every last diamond onto this thing that it’s not aesthetically pleasing at all. And this is coming from a girl who is obsessed with glitter finishes on cars and has a pathological need to add rhinestones to things. But this, this is all just too much. Plus, whoever buys it will never be able to wear it because you might as well be holding up a big sign saying, ‘Please mug me!’ However, I’m going to try and give this watch the benefit of the doubt and say that it just doesn’t photograph well, which some jewelry doesn’t, as this blog’s photographer, nobody knows that better than me. I did find a video which makes it look erm a little less ostentatious.

 

 

Another reason for giving the watch a bit of a pass is that I REALLY want to try it on. I mean, how often do you get the chance to wear five million dollars on your wrist? And then I would run right over to CVS and pick up a splint for my wrist which will most likely be sprained both from the weight of the watch, that sucker looks heavy, and the spazz-tastic happy dance I’d probably do while wearing it. Now, if you are in the market for a watch just like this, my first question is, are you also in the market for an adoptive daughter? And second, they only made one, I know… major shocker there, so you’d better hurry up!

 

So what do you guys think? Is it a thing of beauty or a diamond studded monstrosity? I’ve been looking at the thing for a few hours and I must admit that it’s growing on me, but that could be the diamond addiction talking.

 

 

*Aaaand we’re back* I’ll admit it, I never expected this watch to sell. It seemed like one of those pieces that would make a big splash and then quietly gather dust in some posh jewelry store for all eternity. I was wrong… Wrong, because I neglected to factor in celebrities, Beyonce in particular. Which is an incredible oversight because really, who else could A. afford the watch to begin with, and B. be married to a man who could actually pull it off? So now the real question remains… Will he wear it the next time he rides the train to a concert?

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